I was reading Emotional Intelligence 2 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Breaves the other day. One of their suggestions is to review the feedback about yourself that you receive from others. I already know that an important part of being an effective leader is knowing what page you and others are on. This way of troubleshooting those images was new to me. And so simple. So I did as they suggested. And Wow.
I discovered that I am experienced by others differently than I see myself. For instance, though it is true that I hurt people at times it is also true that I encourage them. Though it is true that others hurt me at times, they mostly enjoy my company and affirm my value as a person. So the notion I have that relationships are almost always problematic is just not true. My actual experience is that relationships are occasionally problematic, generally affirming and that mistakes others and myself make are usually correctable. Wow. It is really a good deal. This “troubleshooting” technique has already begun saving me time and energy replacing anxiety with joy.
As a Christian I often find myself translating secularist insights into Christian terms. My secular friends have been know the do the same in reverse, so turn about is certainly fair play.
The word “Shalom” often translated as “Peace” means “to be Whole.” “To be Whole” means in part being aware of the whole truth about others and ourselves and the character of our interactions. You probably know this already. Just in case you are a slow learner like myself give it a try. When you are meditating simply ask God, “Who do other’s say that I am?” Listen. Then ask, “Who do You say that I am?” Jesus asked these two questions of his disciples several times in the Gospels. You might just discover good news as you “troubleshoot” one of the great sources of effective leadership, your images of self and others.
Finally, living in the world that is is far better than that world I invented. I am liking God more purely. I am more willing to take risks in relationships, risks that generally bring fantastic results. If you have not already figured all this out, I hope you try it and have great blessing in your life.